The Cost of Carrying Everything Alone

For most of my career, I trained not to need help.

Rescue swimmer. Solo climber. Zero hesitation. Go in, handle it. That instinct kept me alive more than once.

After Everest, I kept operating the same way. I didn't call people. I didn't ask. I figured if I could get myself down a mountain blind, I could get myself through anything else without bothering anyone.

That worked for a while. Then it just didn't.

I couldn't tell the difference anymore between handling something and hiding it. I wasn't choosing to go it alone — I'd just never stopped to ask whether I should.

I've prayed hard on a mountain, when the stakes were obvious, and I had no other option. Off the mountain, when I still thought I could manage things myself, I stopped asking — from God or from anyone else. Faith got reserved for emergencies instead of the everyday.

That's backwards. The daily stuff is exactly where you need it most.

Letting someone in isn't a weakness or losing control. Asking isn't failing. A friend, my wife, my kids, God — none of them need me to have it figured out before they'll help. They just need me to actually ask.

I know people who never ask for help and call it independence. I did that for years. It isn't independence. It's just going without longer than you have to.

So here's my question for you:

What are you handling alone right now that you never actually had to?

Ask. See what happens.

Hit reply and let me know: what's one thing you're carrying alone right now? Whether you've got someone to ask or not, I'd like to hear it.

—
Brian Dickinson
Author. Speaker. Host of Calm in the Chaos Podcast
briandickinson.net